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Help a Friend

Talk with your friend if you are concerned about their drinking.

If you think your friend has a drinking problem…

  • try talking to your friend, but be tactful. You might say, “I’ve noticed some changes in you. Are you having any problems?”
  • cite specific examples of your friend’s behavior. You might say, “The last time I was with you, you drank so much you passed out.”
  • avoid sermons, lectures, and verbal attacks.
  • keep your mind open to your friend’s perspective.
  • do not continue your conversation if you become impatient or angry.

If your friend is defensive…

  • make it clear that you like your friend, but do not like their behavior.
  • be honest about your own alcohol consumption and attempts to control it.
  • understand that the person may be afraid of confronting their problem.

If your friend is in denial…

  • tell your friend how their problem affects you. You might say, “It is hard to have a good time if I’m afraid you will get sick, pass out, or embarrass me.”

If your friend agrees with you, you may choose to ask these questions…

  • Why do you think you have a problem?
  • How do you think you could solve it?
  • What are you going to do to resolve your problem?
  • What can I do to help you?

Setting Limits

You may need to set limits on what you will do with or for your friend. Let your friend know what your limits are and stick to them. For example, you may decide not to socialize them while they drink alcohol. You may decide not to allow alcohol in your room or apartment.Limits, and sticking to them, are important particularly if a friend denies that they have a problem. Do not let your friend manipulate you into hiding or disposing of liquor, or covering for them with family members, dates, or other friends. Your withholding or lying enables your friend to continue inappropriate behavior.

Remember that you cannot control your friend’s choices or behaviors. Al-Anon is a great resource to help learn how to set limits.

If your friend is interested in assessing their drinking behavior they can complete the Alcohol e-CheckUpToGo online program. BASICS is another way a student can assess their use. Both programs are confidential.

Learn the lingo!

To decrease the stigma of addiction it is important to have a common language that de-stigmatizes it. Addiction-ary is a great resource in learning this common language!